I brought one of my football players from Henry Ford High School down to South Bend IN. for the Notre Dame/ Navy game. I always have mixed emotions during that game every year because my dad was a professor at ND and I was in the Navy Reserves for nine years.

I took a selfie of him and me in the rain at the game  that night. He was not smiling.

Too much suffering takes the smile away!

He has lived a life of too much suffering. Too much hunger. Too much violence in the neighborhood. Too many relatives in prison. Too many betrayals. Too much disappointment. Too many friends killed. Too much homelessness on Detroit’s streets. Too much despair about his future.

It’s just too much. Please reach out to someone in need!

If not today, when?

A front page article in The New York Times this morning tells the story of a family owned Chinese restaurant. Tom Sit, 76, a Chinese immigrant, who owns a restaurant in Kingston, N.Y., has worked 7 days a week, 12 hours a day all his adult life. (The New York Times)

He’s happy that he he will have no successors to take over the business because his three daughters have college degrees and high paying jobs. He and his wife, Faye Lee Sit, rejoice in the fact that none of their children will have to live the hard life they have lived.

Just another example of parents who put the happiness of their kids ahead of their own. God bless those parents, who bring children into the world and then strive to make them positive, contributing members of society.

If not today, when?

And the angel said to them:

“Be not afraid, for behold, I bring you glad tidings of great joy which will come to all the people. For to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior who is Christ the Lord!”

Let us take a moment and thank God for our lives and our many blessings!

If not today, when?

A Definition: “A hero is a person who has courage, accomplishes outstanding achievements or exhibits noble qualities.”

Most heroes in the world are never formally recognized as such.  It’s not only the great athletes or soldiers who we equate to heroism. I’m talking about ordinary people who live their lives in a heroic manner often unrecognized by others.

Many children are born with lifelong disabilities who persevere every day to the best of their ability.

It’s the school teacher who deliberately works in inner city schools at lower wages in order to help under privileged kids.

It’s the wife staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the kids.

It’s people who live by an internal set of values that they will not compromise.

It’s someone who treats everyone as he/she wants to be treated.

If not today, when?

DEFINITION: “A situation in which two people or groups of people become friendly after not being on friendly terms.”

You may need to be reconciled with a family member, friend or co-worker. You might have to make the first move towards reconciliation. You probably have some hurt feelings and believe the other person should take the initiative to mend the relationship. Most peoples’ ego, however, usually stands in the way.

If there was ever a perfect time to”forgive and forget,” it is during the Christmas season. It will be difficult for you to truly enjoy the spirit of this  season when you know there is someone out there also hurting.

Even if the other person refuses your offer to reconcile, at least you tried.

It’s better than not trying at all!

If not today, when?

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” (Robert A. Heinlein)

The quotation shown above is proof that your love of another is driven by the proper motive.

It is said, however, that there is a triangular theory of love which includes intimacy, passion and commitment. It seems to me that intimacy and passion can be selfish motives, because they may benefit one partner only. Commitment, on the other hand, may be something parents do just for the sake of the kids. 

Genuine love is 100% unselfish when your focus is completely on the happiness of another person. And, only then are you happy too. It is not easy because we all are a bit selfish by nature. The greatest joy in life is seeing loved ones happy!

If not today, when?

 

“Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.” – Jack London

If you want to learn how to make the most of who you are and what you have, follow a poor high school student around in an inner city high school.  They often don’t have enough food or a safe place to live or adequate transportation or proper medical care. Yet, they get up each day and do what they can to push away thoughts of despair and get on with the hand they’ve been dealt.

Do you, despite the the obstacles in your path, make the most of each day?  Success begins with positive thinking. Yesterday, I noticed a little picture of a child’s toy train climbing a hill.

The inscription read, “I think I can!”

If not today, when?

 

 

“The trouble with most of us is that we’d rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” – Norman Vincent Peale

Most of us don’t react to criticism very well. Our first reaction is to defend ourselves by striking back at the accuser. We are often critical of ourselves, but when it comes from someone else, it hurts.

There are some issues you must consider:

Is the criticism justified and is merely a reaction to some mistake you have made? If so, this is a learning opportunity for you and your reaction should be a “Thank you, I’ll remember next time.”

If it is unjustified and is intended to hurt your feelings, the best way to diffuse the situation is to say, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Don’t let the situation get out of control!

If not today, when?

 

 

It seems that apologies have gone out of fashion.

How about you? When is the last time you apologized? Was it sincere or just perfunctory? People can always tell if it is sincere.

Do you think the offer of an apology is an unacceptable blow to your ego? I believe the opposite is true. People respect the courage it takes to humble yourself with an apology while not knowing if your apology will be accepted.

I just believe we should try our best to be kind in all situations. A person’s feelings are more easily hurt than we might imagine. Even the rough, tough adult can be offended without our knowing it.

Here is an easily remembered rule of thumb:

“Always be the first to say I’m sorry.”

If not today, when?

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” (Abraham Lincoln)

Lincoln was poor while growing up. His mother died when he was nine.  Despite his hardships, he loved to tell jokes. Then, as President, he had to preside over the Civil War with all the anguish experienced by both sides.

So, when he says we’re as happy as we make up our minds to be, we’ve got to listen and take his advice to heart. It must resonate in our lives considering the life of suffering he endured.

We all have events in our lives that make us unhappy. So what do you do when that happens? Do you let it consume you or, after a reasonable time, do you move on?

Self management is the key. Decide to be happy!

If not today, when?