Originally, your relationship was the centerpiece of your life!

How about now?

All the shortcomings and frailties of each partner are well known by now. Some of them were perhaps not obvious during the dating process. How have you adjusted to the “Total Person” you know now? Is there still the same attraction or has the lamplight of love dimmed just a little, or a lot?

Actually, love is also a decision. There is more to it than the original physical attraction that brought you together. Now that we’ve been married 54 years, we don’t even look the same, but I have learned so much that makes me love her even more.

You and your spouse can always be happy together if you have fun, practice patience, respect, kindness and all the courtesies you would extend to a total stranger!

If not today, when?

Many people are unhappy in their present jobs, but don’t do anything to see if there is a better opportunity elsewhere. The irony is that it is easier than it has ever been to search for a new position. Before the internet, you were limited to the classified “help wanted” ads in the newspaper.

The other reason to look around now is because the economy is humming! Many employers are short handed and are willing to offer attractive pay plans.

Most people, who are unhappy, don’t look around because they are resistant to change. So, they just continue being miserable.

If you like where you work, but need more money, seek some part time position that would give you the total income you need.

If you’re unhappy, DO SOMETHING!

If not today when?

 

Have you made a positive difference in someone’s life. If not, why not? The only thing that survives us are the good deeds we have rendered on behalf of other people.  Your possessions and bank account will be split up someday and given away. I remember when a neighbor died. His heirs were actually fighting over the canned goods left in his house. The fight became so intense that I saw some family members out on the front lawn in an attempt to gather in more booty and the police were called!

If you are the recipient of some kindnesses bestowed upon you, it is important that you pass those same kindnesses along to those in need while you’re still able.

If ever we have needed a kinder, gentler world, it’s now.

Make a difference!

If not today, when?

Or, are you a disingenuous empty vessel?  Are you really real or just playing a part imposed by other people or certain circumstances. No quality is more attractive in a person than sincerity in word and in action.

Don’t live your life masquerading as someone else! Be sincere. Be genuine.

You only have to be true to one person, yourself. Be honest. Express yourself from your heart. Even if I disagree with your basic premise, I will still respect the fact that you are saying exactly how you feel. People are uncomfortable speaking with someone who is not genuine and may be concealing a hidden agenda.

Another great personal benefit you’ll receive speaking honestly from your heart, is the fact that you don’t have to remember what you said.

Be real!

If not today, when?

 

 

She met him in high school and said goodbye last week while attending to him as he lay on his deathbed. People are always amazed that young love can blossom and mature and last for six decades.

It’s not that they enjoyed a life of ease. Quite the contrary, they faced many difficult challenges together over the years. The irony is that difficulty in a marriage can either bring the couple closer together or drive them apart. In their case, adversity didn’t extinguish their burning flame of love.

Everything in life comes down to a matter of priorities. How important is your marriage to your happiness and that of your children? Don’t give up on your marriage! Fight for it! Your spouse isn’t perfect and neither are you.

Perfection is not available in this life!

If not today, when?

The decisions you make dictate the course of your life!

Do you feel that, given the information you had at the time, most of your previous decisions have worked out well? If so, you have probably used your instincts, previous experience or factual analysis to your benefit. If, however, you are unhappy with your previous decisions, it’s time to correct the way you arrive at them!

First and foremost, don’t rush into a decision unless and until you have all the facts pro and con. Also, with major decisions, it might be wise to ask for the opinion of a trusted family member or friend whose opinion you respect.

Lastly, it is very important that you learn and grow from past mistakes. They can guide you to better decisions in the future!

If not today, when? 

Does the cashier at the grocery store wish you a good day? And do you wish him or her a good day in return? A common greeting by any other vendor might be, “How are you today?” You probably answer that you are fine and then the dialogue stops there. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to respond with, “How are you?”

It’s not unusual for perfect strangers to treat us better than we treat them!

The real irony is that the person wishing you well is probably working for a minimum wage that necessitates that they work at two jobs. So, if there is anyone wishing someone a good day, it should be those of us who are going to have a better day than that person who may be scrambling to hold down two jobs.

If not today, when?

We live in a world of fast changing realities. It seems that the pace of change is accelerating. The question for each of us is, “How do we maintain a satisfactory lifestyle when there are new situations that confront us constantly?” This dilemma can become more severe as we get older and perhaps less flexible.

I feel the answer lies in our personal value system. What are the priorities of your life that are most important to you and how does this change impact those priorities? You can’t get upset about everything and you can’t ignore everything. Use your personal priorities as the standard upon which you view and adapt to change.

Also remember, our lives are served up  only one day at a time and change comes one day at a time. What a blessing!

If not today, when?

 

I certainly did when I was young. Although I still get upset about things, I don’t display a temper like I did in the days of my youth.

Actually, a true temper tantrum is uncomfortable and unacceptable by anyone who is the subject of the outburst. I think that sometimes a temper is manufactured solely for the purpose of imposing someone’s will on another person.

If you have a habitual temper, get help from a professional if you seem to be unable to bring it under control yourself. You have a double obligation to control your temper if you are a parent. Children imitate the behavior of their parents. If they see you going ballistic, they will probably think that’s the way they should behave when they’re upset.

Fewer tantrums means fewer regrets!

If not today, when?

This is a big topic to address in a few words.

Most of us have a self confidence that reflects the way we were raised, especially during our very formative years. I just remember my dad always telling me, “Remember Tom, no one is better than you. They are just ordinary people who put on their pants one leg at a time.”

Does your present confidence level reflect your childhood environment or is it more impacted by the people and events you encounter now as an adult? The reason self confidence is an important issue for you to confront is because confidence affects your decision making. …and those decisions dictate the course of your life!

I believe we are most confident when we are true to ourselves and our values!

If not today, when?