A recent biographical movie about Chief Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg demonstrated her persuasive effectiveness while communicating a legal argument in a low voice.

Contrary to those who attempt to dominate a conversation with a booming voice, it seems the opposite approach may be the better choice.

This is certainly true when engaged in an increasingly hostile argument with another person. Raising your voice during a heated exchange can also raise the emotionally charged, hardening positions of both sides.

So, the best way to keep control of your own behavior while also attempting to deescalate the tone of an argument, is to maintain a low voice.

If not today, when?

Did you grow up poor? If so, there is nothing I will say here that will surprise you.

For the rest us who never suffered the scourge of poverty, I want you to imagine an unimaginative world.

You have heard the term, “angry black man.” Well, why is he angry?

Many days, he went to bed hungry because he may not have eaten in the last day or two. Perhaps the heat and water have been shut off due to lack of payment. Family members are in or have been in prison. Local schools don’t prepare him with the knowledge to compete for a decent job. There is constant violence in the neighborhood. It is very possible that a family member or close friend has been killed.

Can you imagine?

If not today, when?

 

Whether you have one or more children, I would suggest that you create periodic one-on-one times with each child. This is a fast changing, fast moving world they live in.  You and your knowledge of their current friends and activities must not fall behind!

Social media bullying is another possible attack on their self esteem they may be subject to without your knowledge. My wife and I raised many teenagers over the years. One characteristic they may have in common is a reluctance to let their parents know what’s really going on.

A simple one-on-one scenario is when you’re in the car with one of your children. You are both facing forward which will make sensitive conversation more comfortable for both of you.

If not today, when? 

“You don’t listen to me!”

Sound familiar? If so, it is not unusual for either spouse to utter those words because you spend so much time together.

The possible danger to the relationship, however, is that the offended party could begin to feel that you think what he/she has to say are no longer important to you.

Please keep in mind that your spouse has made the lifelong decision to give you everything including physical and emotional love. Most of all, the greatest gift is his/her personal time spent with you to the exclusion of all others.

I’m sure you were quite attentive during the courtship.

I believe marriage should be a lifelong courtship!

If not today, when?

 

 

The answer is YES! It can be both from time to time. There is a profound difference, however, between them.

Never forget that life is sometimes a chore, but always a gift!

Every breath you take is a gift. Your mere existence did not come about by anything you did. If you’ve been reading my blog for any time at all, you’ll see the recurring theme of gratitude. Although I’ve had some successes in my life, I’m not proud of them. I’m grateful for them because I really don’t know how much I did and how much God did.

There will always be moments of sadness, disappointment and even heartbreak, but life is worth living just the same.

Nothing or no one will ever surpass our gift of life. So, be grateful and joyful!

If not today, when?

So many people live “downer” lives.

They could be friends, co-workers or even members of your own family. They may have been hurting since childhood or only recently due to some unfortunate event. Regardless of the cause or duration of their unhappiness, are you inclined to help them?

If you are an older person, you begin to ask yourself, “Have I made a difference with my life?” If, however, you are young and fighting the good fight of making ends meet and raising children, your energies are spent just trying to get through each day.

Regardless of your situation, there are always opportunities to make another person’s load a little lighter. It may only require a smile or a willing ear to listen to their outpouring of grief.

Lift someone up!

If not today, when?

 

 

Well,  I’m 77 years old and I’ve noticed that more and more people are holding the door open when I come into a store or restaurant. As much as I appreciate their kindness, it is a constant reminder that I must look old.

So, is old age something to fear? Not if you don’t let it!

I can understand concern about personal finances and whether or not you will have sufficient savings and/or income to sustain your lifestyle throughout your life. There are also health issues as you grow older.

I just believe, however, that old age is the time to be truly grateful for  all the blessings that have come your way. Another occasion for gratitude is when you remember all the difficult times and the fact that you survived them all and are still here!

If not today, when?

 

Is the source of your unhappiness within or caused by something or someone outside of you? If within, remember we are our own worst critic. So often, we are too hard on ourselves.

Is it a general feeling of unhappiness or can you identify specific reasons? God made you and you deserve to be as happy as anyone else. If you can remedy the internal source, make a plan to deal with it even if you need some outside assistance.

If the source is caused elsewhere, is it possible to be resolved or is it one of those things that you’ll have to live with? Most people have some regrets and or disappointments, but they decide to be happy anyway.

Sometimes, happiness is a decision!

If not today, when?

It won’t take long for you to identify your worst fault. It may be a late comer or a constant companion since childhood. It is one companion you could do without. Can you, will you?

Your worst fault is so apparent that any of your good friends could accurately reveal its identity. If, then, it is so noticeable, it is an impediment to your effectiveness in dealing with others.

So, it must be confronted head on!

Can you correct it yourself or do you need help? Just think of how wonderful your daily life can be without dragging it around. It’s like any other problem you have to face and there are various solutions. Whichever solution you choose will require two things: willpower and commitment!

Just do it!

If not today, when?

Your reputation is the trail you leave behind!

What would we find if we followed your trail? Your trail would be composed of the values you did or did not exhibit in your interactions with others. Were there generous portions of honesty, loyalty and reliability?

Thirty years ago, I was very anxious to become a consultant for a large bank. While meeting with its president, he wanted to know where I had worked before and said he’d get back to me. One week later, he called to say I was hired. He also said he spoke with one of my co-workers at my last job and was told that everything I told him about myself was true. I was a consultant for that bank for ten years!

Nurture your reputation by doing the right thing!

If not today, when?