Do you allow your actions to be dictated by such maxims as “You’re too young” or “You’re too old?” It really is amazing how often we surrender our decision making to how we think society (friends and family) will react.

My wife and I are 77 years old. Five months ago, we decided to take on a big adventure. On October 3rd, we bought a large old boat that we found in Jacksonville FL. Of course, many people thought we were “TOO OLD” to do such a thing.

Well, we’ve been living on the boat trying to improve it for the past two months and having a great time!  We have become very comfortable even when storms come up and the waves rock us to sleep.

Don’t let others dictate what you can and can’t do!

If not today, when?

Do you feel your life is going nowhere?

If so, who is behind the wheel? Are you the driver or the passenger in your life? Most people are the passenger, allowing other people or events to dictate their daily decisions.

If you are in a rut, is it because you allowed it to happen? I know there is pressure in close relationships with family and friends. In order to maintain those close relationships, have you given up too much of yourself? In order to be content with your  life, you have to be you!

This life is not a dress rehearsal. It is the final act!

Do you want to continue living in this rut or are there things you can do to enjoy a more gratifying daily existence?

If not today, when?

I am always amazed at how fast trends spread throughout society.

Probably one of the most dramatic trends I see everywhere are tattoos. Years ago, you would only find them on drunken sailors. Now, they permeate every segment of society including rich and poor, male and female. Fashionable dresses now show cleavage almost to the naval. Men, in greater numbers, are sporting a light beard from ear to ear instead of being clean shaven.

I have no complaint about being trendy, but is it possibly also symptomatic of a society that is seeking the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves?

If so, stop being your own worst critic and begin to really live free of public opinion.

It’s your life, not theirs!

You only go around once. Go on your terms!

If not today, when?

Why does the grass always look greener elsewhere? So, who are those people who seem to live in the greener grass? Would you like to exchange your problems for theirs? In recent surveys, people were asked if they would do it. The great majority, after considering it, said, “No.”

Another way to say, “Bloom where you’re planted” is “Be at peace where you are.” If you ever feel badly about your status in life, the first thing you should do is count your blessings.

If, after counting your blessings, you are still not satisfied, make a plan to correct those situations that can be corrected.

For those things that can’t be fixed, accept them and move forward.

There is fact and perception. …and fact doesn’t count! Your life is how you perceive it to be!

If not today, when?

A recent biographical movie about Chief Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg demonstrated her persuasive effectiveness while communicating a legal argument in a low voice.

Contrary to those who attempt to dominate a conversation with a booming voice, it seems the opposite approach may be the better choice.

This is certainly true when engaged in an increasingly hostile argument with another person. Raising your voice during a heated exchange can also raise the emotionally charged, hardening positions of both sides.

So, the best way to keep control of your own behavior while also attempting to deescalate the tone of an argument, is to maintain a low voice.

If not today, when?

Did you grow up poor? If so, there is nothing I will say here that will surprise you.

For the rest us who never suffered the scourge of poverty, I want you to imagine an unimaginative world.

You have heard the term, “angry black man.” Well, why is he angry?

Many days, he went to bed hungry because he may not have eaten in the last day or two. Perhaps the heat and water have been shut off due to lack of payment. Family members are in or have been in prison. Local schools don’t prepare him with the knowledge to compete for a decent job. There is constant violence in the neighborhood. It is very possible that a family member or close friend has been killed.

Can you imagine?

If not today, when?

 

Whether you have one or more children, I would suggest that you create periodic one-on-one times with each child. This is a fast changing, fast moving world they live in.  You and your knowledge of their current friends and activities must not fall behind!

Social media bullying is another possible attack on their self esteem they may be subject to without your knowledge. My wife and I raised many teenagers over the years. One characteristic they may have in common is a reluctance to let their parents know what’s really going on.

A simple one-on-one scenario is when you’re in the car with one of your children. You are both facing forward which will make sensitive conversation more comfortable for both of you.

If not today, when? 

“You don’t listen to me!”

Sound familiar? If so, it is not unusual for either spouse to utter those words because you spend so much time together.

The possible danger to the relationship, however, is that the offended party could begin to feel that you think what he/she has to say are no longer important to you.

Please keep in mind that your spouse has made the lifelong decision to give you everything including physical and emotional love. Most of all, the greatest gift is his/her personal time spent with you to the exclusion of all others.

I’m sure you were quite attentive during the courtship.

I believe marriage should be a lifelong courtship!

If not today, when?

 

 

The answer is YES! It can be both from time to time. There is a profound difference, however, between them.

Never forget that life is sometimes a chore, but always a gift!

Every breath you take is a gift. Your mere existence did not come about by anything you did. If you’ve been reading my blog for any time at all, you’ll see the recurring theme of gratitude. Although I’ve had some successes in my life, I’m not proud of them. I’m grateful for them because I really don’t know how much I did and how much God did.

There will always be moments of sadness, disappointment and even heartbreak, but life is worth living just the same.

Nothing or no one will ever surpass our gift of life. So, be grateful and joyful!

If not today, when?

So many people live “downer” lives.

They could be friends, co-workers or even members of your own family. They may have been hurting since childhood or only recently due to some unfortunate event. Regardless of the cause or duration of their unhappiness, are you inclined to help them?

If you are an older person, you begin to ask yourself, “Have I made a difference with my life?” If, however, you are young and fighting the good fight of making ends meet and raising children, your energies are spent just trying to get through each day.

Regardless of your situation, there are always opportunities to make another person’s load a little lighter. It may only require a smile or a willing ear to listen to their outpouring of grief.

Lift someone up!

If not today, when?